2-4-6-8! Who is it Fun to Hate? An Online Survey

My whole life I’ve been on this journey of learning when I’m right…and when I’m not. Let’s face it: it’s so gratifying to be right! And self-righteous! So, let’s dive right in! *Rubs hands together in an evil fashion.* Who do you secretly hate?

I know how we all love Facebook surveys (“What kind of facial hair would you have if you were a pirate?” “What five people in your life are most likely to pee in your shower?” “What breed would you be if you were a dog?”), so here’s a handy, computer generated1 list!

People I Might Love to Secretly Hate2

  1. Muslims
  2. Jews
  3. Catholics
  4. All Christians, not just Catholics; I’m kinda equal opportunity
  5. Atheists
  6. People who stick their old gum under tables where I will accidentally touch it
  7. Pro-abortion murderers
  8. Pro-life misogynists
  9. Gays
  10. Transgender folks
  11. Women
  12. Men
  13. Fat people
  14. Jocks
  15. Famous people
  16. Rich people
  17. Poor people
  18. Homeless people
  19. Addicts
  20. Idiots who throw trash out their car window right next to you at a stop sign and then flip you off when you yell at them3
  21. Jerks who take up two spots in the parking lot
  22. Other jerks who pull into your spot after you’ve been patiently waiting for it for ten minutes (although come to think of it, they may be the same as #21)
  23. Slow drivers
  24. Drivers who cut you off on the freeway
  25. People who text while driving (see #24)
  26. Nasty children who teach your own innocent kids dirty jokes
  27. Bullies
  28. People who wear pink pussy hats
  29. People who wear “Make American Great Again” hats
  30. Black Lives Matter protestors
  31. The “Free Hugs” guy (okay, who am I kidding? His superpower is being impervious to hatred)
  32. Asians
  33. Blacks
  34. Natives
  35. Latinos
  36. Whites
  37. Arabs (hey! Did you know they are technically white? Weird huh? But that’s okay…we don’t have to let that stop us!)
  38. Scary white dudes with lots of tattoos, piercings, and funky-colored mohawks
  39. Big guys wearing black hoodies and black jeans and hey, even their skin is black; in fact, why don’t we speed this up and just refer to them as thugs? Thugs
  40. Rappers
  41. Country music lovers
  42. Old people; also known as Polka lovers
  43. White parents who adopt kids of different races
  44. Kids
  45. Parents who don’t keep their kids under control at the grocery store
  46. People with mental illnesses
  47. Loud people
  48. Shy people
  49. Annoying people (admittedly a bit of a catch-all, so if you circle this one, give yourself like a thousand points)
  50. People with obvious disabilities, like being in a wheelchair or having no facial control so they maybe drool or something, because this makes us so uncomfortable that we don’t know where to look
  51. Republicans
  52. Democrats
  53. Hilary Clinton and everyone who voted for her
  54. Donald Trump and everyone who voted for him
  55. Betsy Devos
  56. Jeff Sessions
  57. In fact, let’s make this easier and just put: politicians
  58. People who stick their noses in other people’s business in blog posts (although, admittedly, these people are rare)
  59. Gun control sissy commies
  60. Gun-toting inbred honkies
  61. People who like Obamacare
  62. People who want to dismantle Obamacare
  63. Hey! Obama! How on earth did he escape this list till now?
  64. (Don’t see yours here? Insert as many extra lines as needed.)

Phew! Wasn’t that fun?

Add up all your points. If you scored 0, congratulate yourself on being either a) God or b) a liar. (Hey! “Liars” can be #65! That’s a better number for a list anyway.)

Okay, okay, you’ve made your point, lady. Lay off!

The thing is, I’m realizing that how I think about people is a good Hate-Meter. (Or Love-Meter if you’re an optimist like me.) The Hate-Meter/Love-Meter measures the words we use when we’re thinking about people.

Hate-Meter Spectrum

Hate                                                                                                  Love

Jerk                                                                                                            Loved

Idiot                                                                                                           Important

Fool                                                                                                           Valuable

Unwanted                                                                                                Wanted

It turns out, there are certain individuals, and certain groups, where I tend to land on the far left of this continuum. Jesus was always on the other side.

I want to be where Jesus is.

Now, I will say: if we don’t have Jesus living in us, it’s pretty much impossible to “Love our enemies.” So, there is that. But, I have no excuse. So I’m taking my list of people, the ones I secretly hate? Maybe so secretly that even I don’t know it most of the time?

Those people. And I’m going to pray for them. I’m going to serve them if it’s within my power. I’m going to treat them the way I’d like to be treated—heck, the way I want my kids to be treated.

So that’s our homework, people. (Wait! This comes with homework? Who does this girl think she is???)

Today’s HW: Apologize to God for hating people that He loves. Then, ask God what it looks like to love someone. (Hint: it should be pretty similar to how you like to be shown love.)

Due every day for the rest of your life.

Next week, for anyone who hasn’t unfollowed/unfriended me and still feels interested in reading things I post, I’ll share a few examples of #reallifepeople #livingthedream #dointheyHW

Meanwhile, go find out who you hate! And become excellent at loving them!

  1. Only in the most general sense. As in, I used a computer. To type.
  2. Wildly, grossly, negligently simplistic and incomplete.
  3. Yes this is a true story, although the true story is actually worse.


Photo credit: Copyright All rights reserved by evsmitty

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