You are going to have to pardon all the italics in this post, but I have life-changing news. Yesterday I got a copy of my first print publication, in Funny Times. So far, all my other credits have been online.
This is great, this is wonderful, but it’s not really italics worthy. (Except for the title of the newspaper. No way around that one.)
But then the italics happened! Because: my name was next to Dave Barry‘s! I was so excited that I may have screamed, out loud, “My name is right next to Dave Barry’s!” Perhaps I was reading on the lawn in front of the library. Perhaps it was crowded yesterday, because it was Farmer’s Market day. Perhaps I was sitting next to my daughter, who is entering her teenage years with that certain mortification kids get whenever their parents do anything interesting, like breathe or talk or make jokes about sex. Or dance next to them at a summer outdoor concert. (Not that I would know.)
But who cares about that? Because, I mean, Dave Barry! I learned everything I know about parenting and relationships from that guy!
I confess that part of me was like, Dave Barry is going to know who I am now! He’s going to call me up, and mention what a great essay I wrote, and how he’s really honored, as a Pulitzer winner, to be in the same paper with me.
And then I noticed that, not only are we in the same newspaper together, not only are our names literally right next to each other, but–
Sorry about that. I needed to breathe into a paper bag for a second. Because: we are on the same page!!! Well, back-to-back. Seriously, it’s like being in the same room with him! And standing back-to-back with him! To see who’s taller, or who’s the better writer, or who has the better haircut, or whatever.
Anyway, you can come to your own conclusions. My name’s not on his website yet (I checked), but…I shared my first print publication with Dave Barry!
I’m just saying.