Oh! I feel as if I am emerging from the worst haunted house of all time.
You see, I’ve just been over at Facebook. And it was scary.
For years now, I’ve been the digital version of Boo Radley: I disabled my Facebook account. I had a cell phone that couldn’t text, or search the Internet. I used an answering machine.
But, now that I am self-employed as a writer (current salary: approximately $2/hour), I realize that social media is an important tool. So, making sure to carry my pepper spray, I ventured onto Facebook this morning.
It was exhausting! I love my friends and family, but I am just saying, I think I could have done very well 100 years ago, when you knew that if you moved away, that was pretty much it. Goodbye, Mom; Goodbye, Dad. I’ll see you in heaven and all that. I once read a Dave Barry essay, where he likened Facebook to mailing out hundreds of postcards, every day, with messages like, “Peach Cobbler! Yum!”
I feel that, you know?
So, please pray for me. I need to harness its mighty power for good, and not for evil. And, if you notice something wrong on my Facebook page, feel free to message me.
(Or not. I have all the notifications turned off.)
 A famous recluse from To Kill a Mockingbird. It hurts me that I had to insert this footnote.