Top 10 Things I Won’t Miss about Teaching

Most of you have figured out that, after a whole adult life either teaching, or getting ready to teach, I am taking a year off to write.  When people first hear about this, they inevitably ask me, “Aren’t you going to miss it?”

It’s true this is a huge identity shift, so I’ve been paying attention to myself.  Well, it’s almost September, and my teacher husband and teacher friends are at a meeting right now, and I am at home making bread, helping my kids with their math, and writing.  This leads me to consider:

Top 10 Things I Won’t Miss about Teaching

  1. Going to meetings.
  2. Grading essays.
  3. Dealing with student misbehavior in the halls.
  4. Telling students they will be welcome in my room once they cover up their marijuana socks/T-shirt with a bikini-clad, hugely endowed woman leaning against a car/see-through shirt with black bra underneath it.
  5. Jumping through hoops (read: doing massive amounts of paperwork that have nothing to do with teaching) to “prove” that I am a good teacher.
  6. Having to listen to or, worse, personally use words like “artifact”. Also, “unfold”.
  7. Testing.
  8. Testing some more.  (Actually, this list could be a lot longer than just 10 if I included all the testing days I won’t miss.)
  9. Taking away cell phones from the one or two students I have every year who have such a serious cell-phone addiction that they cannot follow my simple and fairly liberal policy: Cell phones must be used to help you learn. Listening to music during independent work, using Google Translate, looking up Langston Hughes, yes.  Texting friends, watching telenovelas on YouTube, and playing Clash of Clans, no.
  10. Dealing with being sick all year from the massive amounts of mold in our almost 100-year-old building (which voters have TWICE refused to rebuild).

If you know a teacher, please bring them dinner this week, or give them a coupon for a month’s worth of housekeeping, or volunteer to wash the desks in their classroom, and be sure to pray for them!  If you don’t know a teacher, go find one and give them a gift card to your local coffee shop.

(Especially if you won’t pay to replace the dangerous buildings many of our kids and teachers are forced to learn and work in.)

Meanwhile, my timer just went off.  It’s time to take the bread out of the oven.


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